“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything. It is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”
Fatigued and exhausted, she made her way up the elevator and through the balcony. On her way, the rugs under her feet felt like the fur of a fluffed Persian cat , so soothing , so soft. She rotated the door knob and finally felt at peace after entering her own room. Holding a cup of coffee, trying to look beyond the frost on the window she sat on her revolving chair. Enjoying the burnt scent of beans while sipping from the cup she went down the memory lane.
The lane where she saw a young girl busy making paper plane. Once she was done with the origami, she blew on the plane and gave it a thrust to fly. Seeing her plane swaying up and down in the wind gently she smiled. The happiest part was when, besides having an unstable flight, the plane managed to avoid crash landing.
Meanwhile, “beep beep” the alarm rang and she realized the time has arrived. “I must get ready or else I will be late” she said to herself. Took a bath, wore starched clothes and drove to her university for one last time. Yes it was her graduation ceremony. Batch mates on one side of the hall while parents seated on the other side. All of them together waiting for the chief guests. On their arrival the official farewell sermon began and the graduating batch was awarded. One by one names were called to hand over the degrees. Her name was called ; taking a deep breath she stood up, wearing a pitch black gown she moved confidently towards the stage. After taking three steps she was on the stage. In front of her, all she could see were faces as bright as light , all she could hear were the echoing sounds of claps and a cheerful environment. Among the audience were her content and proud parents looking at her. She realized she is all grownup and finally an engineer. The big day of her life after which she knew she is entering the professional world.
Sweets and confetti all around and laughter and giggles. Air was full of fresh and cheerful notes of aromas. High tea and yes a final goodbye to the place where she spent the most amazing four years of her life. The place that groomed her and prepared her for the life ahead. The place where unforgettable memories were made. The place which was the most important to her.
But yes she knew she was an alumni of this prestigious institute and promised herself that one day she will serve here. That girl celebrated to her heart’s content until the day ended.
Being a workaholic she wanted to explore things, try new things and test her potential in various domains. She felt uneasy while sitting idle at home. So her constructive and innovative nature made her explore options and opportunities. She sent her resume to a few companies and to her surprise just a month after her graduation she was called for an interview. Luckily she fulfilled the requirements and was hired as a marketing agent, besides being an engineer by profession.
Ready to take up the challenges she joined the company, without giving a second thought. Surrounded by people with business and finance backgrounds she knew she would learn from them. Days passed and she made friends. It was fun learning things about business ideas and strategies. Everything was running smooth and with the passage of time she was aware of marketing strategies. She took little steps from marketing on social media to geo-marketing. Every day’s news bulletin showed the success stories of various industries and companies, and yes the company which she was working for was on the list too. Of course a proud moment it was. A year passed and she was satisfied with life.
Habitual of having some “me time” on weekends, one Sunday morning she made herself breakfast and switched on the TV. While flipping through the news channels she heard of her own company. Excited she turned the volume up but for the first time it was something bad being discussed about the company. The CEO was accused of fraudulent acts. Headlines on all the channels showed the same thing. Scared and shocked she rushed to the office and found the company sealed. Seemed like everything happened in a very short time. The employees were now unemployed and everything had to be started all over again. Everybody realized after the investigation reports that this company’s chapter is close.
This was the first tipping point of her life where she came to know “life is not a bed of roses”. The kind of girl who wanted to do anything and everything but not willing to sit, was shocked. That night she laid on the bed and kept thinking. But since she was just a beginner so she decided why not try something else. This time again she started brain storming.
“Why shouldn’t I start cooking and sell dishes? I always wanted to be a chef too. Oh but no I always wanted be an artist as well!….what should I do?” she kept thinking and thinking. When she could not find an answer she immediately placed a call to her friend Zoya and asked “Art or Food?”.
Zoya replied ”What…what are you up to?”.
“Nothing you just answer” she exclaimed.
Zoya replied” Art but what … can you elaborate why are you making me choose between these things?!”
She answered” Thank you friend I will tel you the details later”(giggles)
Now the girl made up her mind to start making décor items and sell them.
Anxiously waited the whole night for the sun to rise, for the next day to begin.
The next day she woke up and went for a morning stroll. The dew drops on the lush green leaves were refreshing. As she walked she could hear the crispy leaves being crushed under her feet. For a moment she appreciated the beauty in the opposite conditions of leaves. “At one moment you are like green leaves and at other you are like brown ones..” she thought to herself and moved ahead. The puffed and feathered birds sitting on trees were a lovely sight. She kept enjoying and jogging.
A little further she saw two boys playing in the park. They were skipping a rope. One was brilliantly doing it. The other one was unable to do so, he was stuck. The boy good at this said “Brother focus on the rope while skipping. Don’t look here and there. Only then you will achieve the goal of skipping constantly!”
The one who got stuck answered” But, look at the beautiful sight of parrots in front of us. I cannot stop looking at them!”
To which the one good at skipping replied” Dear friend, if you want everything you will get nothing. Either focus on the rope or just stop and look at the parrots. Stay focused in whatever you want to do”
This conversation helped the little boy and both played well.
After listening to their conversation she felt nice for both of them since both were playing well now. She headed back to her house.After the breakfast she was ready to implement her new plan of art but while eating she checked her mail. The mail was from a company where she applied a year ago right after graduation. She found that as an opportunity as well. When the interviewer asked “Tell me about your first and only interest not the so many listed on your cv “ she fumbled for an answer. She failed the interview as the remarks were” we need a focused person for this job”.
This was the time her heart shattered to pieces. She realized she don’t know what she wants to do in life. She is unaware of her goals still. She was running after everything but not having any set goal.
Sad, she sat down and then the conversation of the little boys came to her mind. “if you want everything you will end up getting nothing” these words kept hitting her hard. She sighed that even the children of this tender age know this.Disappointed and considering herself worthless she isolated herself. Two days passed and the parents recognized her weird behavior.
Her father walked to her room and said “I know why my daughter is upset! Rejections and still unable to figure out her own goal. Am I right?”
To which she nodded in affirmative. Her father sat next to her and said” look I know at times we get confused in life. We get hurt. But that’s the point where we need to ask for Allah’s help even more. Rejections are a part of life. We learn from them. Remember it is our scars that come first and then the healing starts.”
Further her father pointed to all the pictures of the fighter planes in her room and made her realize that it was her true passion.
He made her appear for the test of Air force. Fortunately she cleared the test and with every passing day she thanked Allah and her parents for guiding her. She was finally in a profession that was meant for her. She was no longer running after everything but, finally knew where she actually has to excel.
Knock! Knock!! The door knock brought her back from the memory lane. An officer entered the room and asked “ are we ready to fly?”
She gulped down the last of her coffee, stood up, put her hat on and said “Yes we are. Dear JF 17 thunder I am coming “.Off she went wearing a blue starched uniform, with the grace of a swan and strength of a flickering candle in the wind. She now knew that paper plane is now her fighter jet, and those ups and downs were the life lessons. And there are only stable landings.
Contributed by: FATIMA RIZWAN
