A 4-step guide to destroying your GPA
Have you ever felt like destroying your GPA?
I definitely have.
Therefore, I have researched long and hard for the perfect method; I scoured the internet for well-sourced articles, asked a few extremely stressed seniors and even took a hard look in and around the central library for a good book on the subject.
In other words, I spent a lot of time trying to get good content for this article that could’ve been spent actually studying.
Nonetheless, I have digressed enough.
STEP ONE: Join more societies than possible.
Do you feel like you have joined just the right amount of societies which will allow you to strike a proper balance between study, sleep and friends?
If the answer is yes, then please stop.
Why are you doing this to yourself?
Do yourself a favor and join more.
Make sure to apply for more strenuous portfolios that will require more effort and time on your part — a big bonus if they may require you to miss class!
It is really the first step to a more successfully low GPA.
STEP TWO: Socialize as much as you can for as long as you can
Our greatest enemy here is any free time left to study.
When your societies have no tasks for you at a moment, this leaves a wide, dangerous, and fatal gap — with nothing to do, you might consider studying!
It would be a great shame if you were to find time to carry your books to the Central Library, find a nice corner, and read your coursework.
No! Please avoid that.
Instead, always keep a lot of friends on speed dial and make sure to do something, anything, with anyone, anytime.
They may not notice it, but they will make sure to keep you from committing the dreaded crime of studying.
STEP THREE: Take a nice, long dip into the NUST Lake
We should consider ourselves lucky to be students at a university with a physical lake on campus.
It offers itself as a piece of the many sceneries that enchant our surroundings.
The best part, however, is that it is a nice place to swim.
In the cold.
It is a fairly simple concept, and I’ll explain it: you dip into the lake at night as winter chills blow in your general direction and you get sick enough that you’ll be forced to miss class and you won’t be able to study.
We do not even know what the lake contains either, so if you’re lucky, you could get infected by a contaminated toxin or get bitten by the legendary dolphin those at SEECS keep lying to everyone about.
STEP FOUR: Be Very Sad
If nothing is bothering you right now, then something should.
Try to overanalyze your conversations with your friends and pretend they secretly hate you, delve into a long winded existential crisis, or have serious calamities face yourself in life.
The more upset you are about everything around you, the more time you will spend moping around instead of studying.
You may not even want to attend classes since you’ll be too busy trying to convince yourself every morning whether it is worth even getting up from your bed.
It would really help if you picked to join a depressing school like NICE; this will cut your work in half.
Spend your days with a strong, vibrant, vivid frown that will never go upside down; it may even keep you from concentrating during a test, thus guaranteeing you a very bad grade! It really is the optimal way.
In conclusion, destroying your GPA is nothing but a delicate art. It requires a little hard work, a lot of dedication, and a great burning desire to see a beautiful 2.4 listed as your CGPA. Just make sure to never channel that hard work into actual studying.
That would be just awful.
Avoid going to class
Dip into the NUST lake
Overthink a social interaction and be depressed